A few months ago, my husband, Brandon asked me if I’d like to go to Turks & Caicos with him in March. “Um. Yes!” I quickly responded. “Obviously!”
His company had invited him to 4-day President’s Club trip and spouses were included. (Free flights! Free hotel!) It sounded like a dream. Despite blurting out an affirmative response, my inner dialogue was more skeptical. Who would watch the kids for 4 days?! My parents are amazing, and have helped us out so much with the kids over the years, but they’re in their mid-70s and I try not to ask them to babysit any longer than 2 days at a time.
I started putting out feelers for childcare back in January. I eventually was able to piece together a combo of my parents, plus two other awesome babysitters - and school! - to cover the time we would be gone. But still, I didn’t fully believe I was going to be able to go. There are always so many variables that could prevent me from leaving town: if either kid got sick, I’d have to stay home. If my parents or either babysitter got sick, I’d have to stay. And then, instead, I got Covid. Exactly 12 days before the trip. (Which, in the end, was kind of perfect timing!) I immediately started worrying that someone else in our family would catch Covid from me, and then we definitely wouldn’t be going on the trip. But luckily, Evie and I were the only ones who caught it - Grayson and Brandon were spared.
And somehow, despite all of my worries about illnesses and the zillion other things that could go wrong, I actually got to go on the trip. I truly didn’t believe it was really happening until I got on the plane. And then, even into the first day, I was still holding my breath a bit. Will everything go smoothly at home? Will the kids be ok? (I clearly have some anxiety issues!!)
And guess what? It was all ok. The kids did great, my parents were great, the babysitters were great - all went smoothly. The thought occurred to me: What if, instead of bracing myself constantly for disaster, I took a different approach. What if, instead, I believed that everything would actually work out? What a novel thought! (Quick caveat: obviously, things will go wrong in life. I am not talking about toxic positivity here. What I’m talking about is choosing an optimistic approach rather than an anxious one.)
It took me a full 24 hours into the trip to finally take a deep breath and tell myself that everything was fine back home, and that I could just relax and enjoy our trip. So I did. I went to outdoor yoga classes, walked on the beach with Brandon, read an entire book (more on that below!), and swam in the ocean. Other than a couple of company dinners, our time was free. Mostly, it was nice just to have time together just the two of us. In our normal life, between Brandon’s work travels and me juggling my work and kids’ activities, we are like ships passing in the night. It felt really nice to have time to connect with each other, and to actually finish conversations without constant interruptions! I feel insanely grateful. The trip also fell right between Brandon’s birthday (Feb. 28) and my birthday (March 11) so we treated it as a joint birthday celebration :)
I spent most of the trip devouring Danny Meyer’s classic book Setting the Table. Though the book is nearly 20 years old, its principles of hospitality and business are timeless. Danny Meyer is one of NYC’s top restauranteurs, with a slew of successful restaurants under his belt. Even if you’ve never eaten x x at one of his fine dining establishments, like Gramercy Tavern or 11 Madison Park, chances are you’ve eaten at a Shake Shack, which he also owns. The book chronicles his life story, as an entrepreneurial 27-year-old opening his first restaurant on Union Square, a then-gritty section of NYC, to slowly building an entire restaurant empire. As a former New Yorker myself (and an aspiring café owner), it was fascinating reading about his journey into the world of restaurants - what he learned, the mistakes he made, the criticism he received, and the mentors who helped shape him along the way.
Most of all I deeply appreciated Meyer’s philosophy of hospitality. He has achieved such wild success not just because he’s a great businessman (which he clearly is), but because he genuinely cares about people - first his staff, and then his guests. He has built restaurants that not only serve great food in beautiful spaces, but that also aim to create and invest in community. People come back again and again to his restaurants because they feel like they are seen and cared for. In the intro, he writes, “Business, like life, is all about how you make people feel. It’s that simple, and it’s that hard.”
I love that. In business and in life, it all boils down to how you make people feel. Reading Meyer’s book was so inspiring to me, and called me to a higher purpose for my future café. More than just serving excellent food, I really want to make people feel truly welcome and cared for. I want to create a gathering place, where people feel that they belong. A place where people look forward to coming daily for their morning coffee (and crêpe!) and want to return again for lunch - for a healthy salad or hearty galette. I want to hire people who look forward to coming to work, who love serving others, and who feel a sense of ownership in the café and community.
And rather than worrying about all of the myriad of things that could go wrong, I’m trying to adapt the same mindset for the café that I am in life. What if it all works out?!
XO
Anna
P.S. I’m curious to hear from you. Are you a “brace yourself for disaster” person, or a “everything will work out” person? I’d love to hear!
P.S.S. Your weekly meal plan is coming out tomorrow!
This was my life mantra. Not on the outside, but the way that I lived. And then, life happened, and I forgot about how things really do always work out. — It was only when others in my life needed reassurance that I gave it back to myself.
Thank you for this reminder, and for always being so transparent. This was a well-deserved vacation for you both, gorgeous setting, and beautiful reflection on who you are. A life giver. Always giving hope and encouragement. Always inspiring others. Thank you Anna!